acrylic on canvas

14” x 14”

2018

There is a time in most of my creative processes where I cannot stand the piece and wonder what in the world is wrong with it. This painting had several of those times. I disliked it for most of its creation and consistently wondered why I had added the colors I did, why I had painted the composition the way I had, and why I just couldn’t seem to figure out how to make it work. 

Now, I love it. I love it, because you can SEE that struggle. There are still remnants of original colors that seemed to make no sense to me in the moment, there are thick patches of paint slapped on in frustration with a pallet knife, there are dark patches of muddy colors still left at the bottom.
You can SEE the questions and the doubts and the hesitancy to believe that it would ever become something beautiful. But, again, I am reminded that it is all part of this painting’s story. I love the way the minty, sea foam greens melt into the periwinkles and the way the yellows and oranges pop out, highlighting the brilliant blues and indigos. The texture adds a rugged interest that wouldn’t have been there if it had all “made sense” the whole time.

Like an experienced, wise human being, this painting just collected the hard stuff and carried the doubts and sat with the frustration and eventually, an object of seasoned beauty emerged. A painting that reminds me to just breathe it all in.

“And oh, as you run

What hindered love

Will only become

Part of the story”

-Steffany Gretzinger